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Esther Stanway-Williams's avatar

My next post is about how bravely Dom fought to stay earth side, just as your beautiful Alix did. Some battles aren’t seen, are they. Thank you for honouring them so beautifully here ❤️❤️❤️

Julie Neches's avatar

I love all you write about Dom and how you keep his legacy going. I can’t wait to read your next post about Dom’s courageous battle to stay alive. I am blessed to be connected to you and to be comforted by the heavenly connection between Dom and Alix.

Esther Stanway-Williams's avatar

Julie ❤️🙏

Nikki Meyler Miller's avatar

Julie, the poetry on this card is gorgeous and painful, as so many Americans died killing each other. I pray this country never clashes like this again, on Memorial Day and beyond. Thank you for finding such a treasure.

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for reading the card. It is inspiring that people had love in their hearts for both ally and foe.

Nikki Meyler Miller's avatar

In the Civil War, foe was sometimes family.

Julie Neches's avatar

That is all too true!

Yolande Clark-Jackson's avatar

What I love about this poem is how it captures the two poles of how others relate to us in a life: "The friend and foe alike." Sometimes we are one and perhaps other times the other to either ourselves or to others.

In just a few lines, it illustrates an understanding of the complexity of how others experience us or how we may experience living in our own thoughts. It fits with what I imagine Alix may have experienced with her bi-polar disorder, and in varying degrees and without diagnosis, what many of us may feel inside ourselves on days of over reactivity or overwhelm from stress or with the restless thoughts and/or memories that need to be laid to rest.

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for reading this so deeply! That is a good question to wonder how my daughter Alix experienced her bipolar disorder and how each of us cope with the dualities within ourselves and others.

Joanie Madsen's avatar

If we live long enough we will mourn. Yet, to mourn a child. This is beyond any comprehension. Your Alix, indeed a warrior both here on this earth, and in spirit. Just as her momma IS. Keep saying her name, and remembering her well just as you do Julie. Douglas and I are listening. 💜

Julie Neches's avatar

That means so much to me to have you and Douglas listening! And keep saying his name too! In heaven Douglas and Alix can hang out together and say our names until one day we join them.

Sam Messersmith's avatar

This is so touching. I remember my beloved grandma almost every day, I'll include her on Memorial Day too.

I find it interesting that there were postcards about such sorrow. Indeed, this is something that could benefit us now.

Julie Neches's avatar

Beautiful you remember your grandmother each day including Memorial Day. She lives on with you. I would love modern-day post cards for the bereaved.

Sam Messersmith's avatar

You're so right, she does live on with me. As all our ancestors do ❤️. Modern day postcards for the bereaved sounds like an untapped market that really should be filled!

Julie Neches's avatar

I’m all for postcards for those who grieve! They could become a popular revival!

Sally French Wessely's avatar

There is so much beauty in this poem, and lessons too as the soldiers mourns friends and foes alike. Thank you for sharing it as you made your connection to the loss of your daughter Alix and her valiant battle with bi-polar disease. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am grateful for the way you honor her with those words about her battle.

The first words a new therapist said to my as I recounted the very recent death of my daughter who died by suicide on Memorial Day Weekend in 2010 were, “She was a valiant warrior against her illness.” I’ll never forget the great comfort those words gave me. She was valiant for so long. This weekend, I will honor her life and mourn her death, and I will remember your daughter also.

Julie Neches's avatar

Sally thank you for sharing about the loss of your daughter. I will think of her and you this weekend and the connection of Memorial Day to the anniversary of your daughter’s death. Both of our daughters were valiant warriors! I’m sending you love and hugs.

Sally French Wessely's avatar

Thank you, Julie. It hits hard some years. This year is one of those years.

Julie Neches's avatar

Sending you extra hugs!

Laura Lynch's avatar

Beautiful! I'm so sorry about your daughter! The poem is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing this!

Laura Lynch's avatar

You’re so welcome! 🥹

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for your support and for reading the poem!

Sheri Handel's avatar

This is heartbreakingly beautiful, Julie. Alix certainly was a warrior, for herself and for others. I so appreciate the manner in which you honor her here.

My father served in the Navy. He passed when I was 18, so I didn't get to know him as an adult. I'll honor his service on Monday.

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for recognizing my daughter as a warrior! Thinking of you as you honor your father and his military service on Memorial Day!

Victoria Bresee, MA,  MAR's avatar

Glad to have found your thoughtful newsletter, this weekend I'm mourning the loss of my son exactly 3 years ago. So strange that it was on Memorial Day weekend. He had bipolar disorder and dealt with it by drinking. He was only 41.

Julie Neches's avatar

Did you lose both of your sons or only the one who died at age 41? I always was afraid of phone calls with bad news about my daughter but I still hoped she’d have a long life.

Victoria Bresee, MA,  MAR's avatar

Only my younger one. My oldest son is very stable now and married with two boys. His wife also has BP. She’s doing better now, but it’s been rough earlier in their marriage. I’m supporting them as a family now and making it my highest priority to reduce the chance that my grandsons will go through it, despite both of their parents having BPD.

Yeah, I remember being afraid of phone calls, but I never turned off my phone at night. Glad I didn’t. There were a couple of calls that I took and was able to save his life, for a while.

Julie Neches's avatar

Glad to hear your older son is doing well and the father of two boys! They are lucky to have you there to help keep the grandsons healthy. I never turned off the phone either. And I also had emergency calls.

Victoria Bresee, MA,  MAR's avatar

I just wrote a post today about losing my son on Memorial Weekend, 3 years ago, in case you are interested. I’m not able to send the link in this comment, but you will see it on my page.

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for telling me. I will read it! Thinking of you this weekend.

Victoria Bresee, MA,  MAR's avatar

I just posted this today, about losing my son on Memorial Weekend 3 years ago. Thought you might be interested.

https://victoriabresee69.substack.com/p/grief-brain-and-the-indy-500?r=7xrhkn&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for sending me the link! I will look at it right now!

Julie Neches's avatar

Oh that is tragic all of those women lost their children to bipolar disorder. My daughter had bad side effects from many of her medications including going into liver failure and projectile vomiting and couldn’t be on many of them.

Julie Neches's avatar

Oh sending you hugs and thinking of you and your son! I find the anniversary of my daughter’s death and her birthday to be difficult. That is a coincidence that both of our children had bipolar disorder.

Victoria Bresee, MA,  MAR's avatar

Well, I knew from the time that my boys were in their early teens that those with BP were at high risk for an early death, due to a variety of related causes, so in a way, I was surprised that I had both of them so long. My older son started doing much better in his 30s. I have five women friends with kids with BP and they all have passed away. Life is such a challenge for them and treatment isn't that great.

Melanie R. Jordan NBC-HWC's avatar

That's a cool idea Julie. You're right, Alix certainly sounds like a true warrior, so why not?